Another rant…

I usually try to keep my foul mouth from overflowing into this blog but today is different.

I’ve been really fucking depressed for the last few days.  This year was the first mother’s day without my mom.  Even though she wasn’t around a lot its different konwing she is dead. 

I wish I could tell you that it doesn’t hurt,  but that would be a lie.  The worst part is when I think about how many times she told me to always stand up for myself and what I believe in.  The truth is… I let her down.

For years I tried to be what other people wanted me to be.  I never said what I felt only what I thought people wanted to hear.

Well, not anymore!  I’m fucking done with it.  I’m not pretending to care anymore.  You can call me insensitive.  I took years of abuse to get this way, some of it was even self inflicted. 

So here’s how its going to be,  I’m going to say whatever is on my mind and if you don’t like it, tough shit.  I’m going to bust my ass doing the things I love. 

This is a hard post for me to write.  I know my mom is somewhere up there look down at me thinking “It’s about damned time!” 


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