So Here I Am Again

I can’t even begin to explain how I feel.  I haven’t cried since my mom died.  Even looking through my phone I still see her number in my contacts.  I wish she could she what I’ve become, what I’ve done.

Life has changed in so many ways.  I can’t believe I went so long without really knowing what I was capable of.  I will never lose sight of who I am again. 

Every day is a battle.  Sometimes I just don’t wanna get out of bed.  After the initial struggle,  I’m finally awake.  Jump on my bike and lose myself in the freedom.  Nothing can compare to the freedom of flying down the road. 

When I think about how close I came to throwing it all away because of how weak I was,  I get angry.  I have fought all of my life.  Whether it was against some asshat who thought it was ok to bully someone or against myself.  I never let anyone or anything stop me,  why would I let myself stop me. 

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